Every coach has been here:
The client who says they’re ‘doing the work’… but keeps circling back to the same roadblock.
Same fear. Same story. Same stuck.
You tweak the action plan. Offer a new tool. Celebrate micro-wins. But still—progress stalls.
This isn’t a plateau. It’s a pattern.
What’s Really Happening?
- Clients often mislabel emotional resistance as a lack of motivation.
- What looks like procrastination is often protection: from disappointment, exposure, or change.
- Stuckness can feel safer than success when success is unfamiliar.
Why Naming the Pattern Matters:
- It shifts the narrative from ‘I must not want it bad enough’ to ‘Something in me is trying to stay safe.’
- It removes shame and opens the door for curiosity.
- It gives you, the coach, language to reframe without blaming.
How to Coach Clients Out of the Loop
- Reflect the Pattern – ‘I’ve noticed this keeps coming up—can we explore what’s underneath it?’
- Identify the Payoff – ‘What does staying here protect you from?’
- Co-create a New Micro-Shift – Don’t blow up the goal. Re-route the path with something emotionally accessible.
Common Patterns to Watch For:
- Perfectionism as paralysis
- Fear of visibility masked as branding confusion
- Overhelping others as avoidance of their own healing
Coach Language That Builds Trust:
- ‘What if this isn’t resistance, but a story trying to protect you?’
- ‘If this pattern had a message, what would it be?’
- ‘What do you know now that your past self didn’t?’
What to Avoid:
- Don’t label it as self-sabotage too soon—it creates defensiveness.
- Don’t chase quick wins just to feel like you’re making progress.
- Don’t force clarity—invite reflection.
Your Client Isn’t Broken—They’re Just Tired of Fighting Invisible Battles.
And when you name the pattern with compassion instead of criticism, something sacred happens:
The loop loosens.
New choices emerge.
And trust deepens—not just in you, but in themselves.
That’s the power of coaching done differently.